Fat Drunk Bastards Web page
FDB Enlistment Page
So you want to become a member of FDB, do ya? Well, not just anyone can get in. To see how prospects measure up, we commissioned a team of crack... or maybe it was crackpot, I can't remember... psychologists to create the FDB Bastardly Personality Indicator Test (FDBBPIT). Pass it and we're interested. Fail, well then you might want to go join one of those sissy whiner squads. If you haven't done so already, you ought to look over our mission statement and bylaws before taking the FDBBPIT.
FDBBPIT
1) You are given an order to guard a warehouse stockpiled with hotwings and beer far from the front lines of battle. Do you...
Wonder at the importance of such a mission?
Perform your job dutifully.
Concoct a story of how you were attacked by the enemy and forced to enact a "scorched earth" policy to explain the warehouse full of chicken bones and empty beer bottles to your superiors.
2) You log into the arena and see that your country is down to 2 bases, both of which are under heavy enemy cap. Do you...
Log out or change countries in disgust?
Bitch and moan?
Chug a last beer, snarf a last wing, then up from one of the bases with a maniacal grin on your face.
3) You notice a slight variation in the historical accuracy of the flight model of your favorite airplane. Do you...
Post a constructive message on the message boards?
Make your concerns known on the open channel in the arena?
Quickly down a 12 pack in an attempt to kill whatever brain cells were responsible for such thoughts.
4) You engage an enemy at identical altitude and speed in a head on pass. As you merge, you are wracked by a fit of coughing that makes you accidentally pull the trigger, resulting in the enemy's death in a head on shot. He berates you on the open channel. Do you...
Appologize to him?
Ignore him.
Kick yourself for not head on-ing his chute, too?
5) Your best friend and you are taken hostage by malevolent space monkeys who have journeyed to earth to learn more about the human race. As part of a cruel experiment, you are both placed in a cage and starved for 30 minutes, after which the malevolent space monkeys place a single, succulent hot wing in the center of the cage between you both. Do you...
Offer the wing to your friend because you care about his well being more than your own.
Offer to equally share the wing so that you both benefit from it.
Emit a feral howl as your humanity snaps and then launch yourself at your friend, determined to rip him limb from limb to obtain the wing.