Fat Drunk Bastards Web page
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FDB's Mission
Mission Statement
It is the foremost mission of the Fat Drunk Bastards to pursue jollity and merriment in any and every endeavor. In other words, we're here to have fun. We don't take ourselves or Aces High too seriously. We like to fly, coordinate and win, but not at the expense of becoming some ACM-buzzword spouting lemming. (Editor's Note: Any real lemmings contemplating their great leap that reads this page should not take the previous sentence as a personal slight. Lemmings make excellent pilots. Kamikazi pilots, anyway.)
Rules & Bylaws
  1. Whining: No member of the Fat Drunk Bastards shall ever be permitted to whine. Doing so can result in immediate razzing by other members of the squad.
  2. Physical requisites: Members of the Fat Drunk Bastards must maintain a bodyweight in excess of 300 lbs, and a blood alcohol level in excess of 0.15. Falling below these minimums can result in forced ingestion of food, alcohol, or both.
  3. Chute shooting, Head-oning and Ditching: As these three issues are hot-potatoes in Aces High, the founders of FDB feel it necessary to issue rules to squad members regarding them. No member of FDB may shoot an opponent's chute unless they suspect him of whining at least once in his present or any former life. No member of FDB may head on an opponent unless the urge strikes them. No member of FDB may kill an opponent who is trying to ditch unless they are struck with the inspiration to do so. No member of FDB may ditch his plane unless he has to urinate really, really bad. Anyone who suspects an FDB member to be falsifying claims of bladder fullness to escape death by ditching should stop to consider how much alcohol must be consumed by said member to comply with the squad's blood alcohol requirement.
  4. Chain of command: The squad is headed up by the Inept High Commander, or IHC. Ranking just below the IHC is the Incompetent Lieutenant Commander, or ILC. Below the ILC is the rank of Insubordinate 1st Class, or I1c, which makes up the bulk of the squad's members. All members of the squad must follow the order of anyone in the squad carrying a higher rank, unless they just don't want to.
  5. Joining the squad: Because attitude is at least as important an ingredient in being a Fat Drunk Bastard as flying skill, admittance to the squad is by invitation only. If you are interested in joining FDB, you need to first head over to our enlistment page and send us some general information about yourself. After that, you need to spend some time flying with us in the arena. If you fit in, you'll get an invitation.
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